(With a little help from my friends)
1. Move to a farming area then complain about the farms (The number one Why Would You for all of us)
2. Dress provocatively then complain when you provoke
3. Marry into the Royal Family then complain when they ask you to behave like a Royal
4. Keep a pet tarantula
5. Go to university to listen and learn then refuse to listen
6. Drive hours to the seaside when you know there’s no room on the beach
7. Walk up Scafell Pike in flipflops
8. Visit a beauty spot because it’s beautiful then leave it covered with ugly litter
9. Ignore social distancing then blame everyone else when you get Covid19
10. Holiday abroad when you know that quarantine could be imposed at any time
11. Holiday abroad when you haven’t got rainy day savings for just one-month’s household bills
12. Eat out, dress to the nines, holiday abroad, then complain you can’t afford to buy a house
13. Buy an old, characterful property then do it up à la Beverly Hills kitsch
14. Claim that it’s your right to park outside your home, on a bend, opposite a junction
15. Spend public funds on self-promotion instead of social care (Gee I wonder which Local Authority this refers to)
16. Eat Quorn
17. Read Cycling Today
18. Watch Countryfile if you live in the country
19. Believe the BBC
20. Advocate women’s rights, ethnic rights, gay rights, trans rights, human rights and animal rights, but not men’s rights.
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