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Keen to hear from anyone who agrees with me or not, as long as you have an open mind and a sense of humour!

If Carlsberg did funerals …

… it would probably have been the best funeral in the world. I would have opened with, “This was not just a funeral, it was an M&S funeral,” but M&S are in my bad books – more later.

I wasn’t going to blog about this – Mum’s funeral – bit personal, bit raw, but honestly, everyone told me it was a stonking occasion so I just had to share. OK maybe no one used the word ‘stonking’ but they would have agreed with me if I’d said it.

First of all, the weather co-operated. Secondly, half the family recovered from Covid just in time. The readings were from the Authorised Version of the Bible and the C of E Traditional Psalter. Pure poetry. More family made long journeys than I had anticipated. Family members presided, read, eulogised, pallbeared, processed and took honorary bows. I over-catered at the pre-funeral lunch and then again at the wake, which is fine; my worst nightmare is running out of food. The flowers were glorious. The open bar at the wake went down well – surprise, surprise. And I got my hair looking nice.

God Save the Queen, Zelensky and the Daily Mail

I really like Peter Hitchens (writes for the Mail). He’s brave. He puts his genuine beliefs out there, even when he knows his is the minority view. He’s also not afraid to publicly admit when he’s changed his mind. He used to be a member of the Labour party, then he joined the Conservatives, but left again when he realised his take on conservativism didn’t align with that of the party.

And he’s a good writer. That and a sense of humour earn my unfettered respect and admiration.

So when yesterday he wrote yet another piece criticising Ukraine, lambasting the West’s almost unanimous support for the country, and defending (up to a point) Russia, I felt I had to tread carefully before blogging any disagreement.

Homes are where the money is

I did quite well with the cost-of-living crisis last week, so today I thought I’d solve the so-called housing crisis.

The frothing vitriol of the pro-development lobby was bad enough when the Government announced it was scaling back plans for 300,000 new builds a year, but when Simon Jenkins agreed that we don’t need that many new homes because the housing market isn’t in crisis, anyone would think he’d expressed his undying love for Putin.

Cost-of-living crisis? What cost-of-living crisis?

According to a Tory MP, people should learn to budget and to cook and they wouldn’t have a problem. He claims that you can cook a meal from scratch for 30p.

I was fuming on behalf of everyone who is genuinely struggling to make ends meet through no fault of their own, then I caught sight of his background. Lee Anderson, MP for Ashfield in Nottinghamshire, is a former coal miner and ex-Labour councillor. Not your typical monied, out-of-touch Tory then. I kept digging (or mining) and learned that he has volunteered for Citizens Advice and worked in hostels for homeless care leavers. Sounds like an ok kind of guy.

He was slapped with a community protection warning for trying to block access to a local site to deter Travellers. Bravo that man!

Shortly afterwards, he defected to the Tories and was elected to Parliament in 2019.

In addition to trying to protect his community from illegal incursions, he has said and done many other ‘controversial’ things, most of which I agree with: supporting Brexit, objecting to England footballers taking the knee, and voting against Covid restrictions. Where did he go so horribly wrong? Or is he right?

According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), “The Consumer Prices Index [a measure of inflation] … rose by 6.2% in the 12 months to March 2022”. In everyday parlance, that means that if something cost £10 in March 2021, it now costs £10.62. So what? If something cost £100 in March 2021, it now costs £106.20. Yeah – still not a crisis.

However, relying again on those clever people at the ONS, who assure us that the median household disposable income in the UK was £31,400 in the financial year ending (FYE) 5th April 2021, if a household’s annual bills totalled £30,000 (I like round figures, given that I have one) in the FYE 2021, then in FYE 2022 their bills would have totalled £31,860. Stating the obvious, that’s an extra £1,860, which doesn’t sound so paltry, does it? 

What’s really scary is that for the next 12 months, the extra money needed to, well, live, is projected to be even higher, for the sake of argument say another £2,500 on top of the £1,860 some had to scrimp and save for this year. Doing the maths for you, it means that an average UK household will have had to find an extra £4,360 within a two-year period. That is serious dosh and the very epitome of a cost-of-living crisis.

However…

Have you seen the horrendous queues of holiday makers at various airports trying to go abroad for a short break? Have you tried to book a table at a favourite restaurant on a Friday evening? We popped down to Somerset recently and made our usual pilgrimage to Clarks Village (outlet mall) on the hunt for essentials such as handbags, serving platters, and matching underwear. We struggled to find a parking space it was that busy with other shoppers. We picked up Covid fairly easily but that’s another story.

Plenty of people do still have plenty of money to burn. If the credit card does suddenly start to throw a wobbly, then there’s plenty of luxuries to forgo for a couple of years, such as climate-change-causing holidays, boutique gins and designer condoms. You’ll be fine. Trust me. Growing up in a farming-cum-mining village in the 1970s, with winters of discontent and hyper-inflation thanks to a failed socialist government (was it ever thus) for company, my parents ended one bleak month with just 80p in the bank. I know how to cut back, make do and mend. It’s not that difficult. Eggs, mince, offal and milk puddings kept us nourished; hand-me-down cardies from older cousins kept us warm, and staying with family in the Lake District did us proud for our one, yes one, holiday a year.

But there are plenty of other people who don’t have any luxuries to barter, and for whom 80p at the end of the month would be wonderful. They were living hand-to-mouth before Covid and Ukraine; the current situation must be terrifying. They’re the ones who really are suffering a genuine cost-of-living crisis. What’s to be done?

Despite me being, normally, very (too?) forgiving of Boris because he got Brexit done, he really hasn’t got a handle on the inflation-situation. Maybe Lee Anderson MP has ganged up with Fishy Rishi to persuade Boris and the rest of the cabinet that households need to get a grip before being given bigger handouts. Sorry, chaps, but you’re wrong. Mr Anderson MP might be right about Brexit, Covid-lockdowns, trespassers and BLM, but he’s way out of order with his views on the cost-of-living crisis.

If I were Prime Minister (I really must devote a whole blog to that title), here’s what I’d do (the list is not exhaustive):

Put more money in pockets:
Immediately cut income tax and National Insurance for the lowest earners.
For those on benefits who can find some / more work, don’t cut their benefits until they’re earning a proper living wage.
Capacity-build food banks to turn food-recipients into food-bank workers.
Increase benefits for those with known chronic health issues where working (more) is just not possible
Incentivise banks to relax overdraft criteria and help people to budget
‘Incentivise’ supermarkets to buy more British food at more realistic prices without passing on the cost to the consumer. The farming community deserve our support as well!

Take less money out of pockets:
Suspend VAT on gas and electricity bills
Suspend the green fuel levy.
Cut vehicle fuel tax
Mandate housing associations and private landlords to immediately improve their properties’ fuel efficiency
Capacity-build food banks to enable education of recipients re budgeting and cooking (which is supported by Mr Anderson!)
Donate all edible excess food from the catering industry, including excess portions, discarded trimmings and failed attempts (soggy bottoms?) to hostels and foodbanks.
Supermarkets to donate all (safe) ‘past-sell-by-date’ food, including wilting fruit and veg, to hostels and foodbanks

How can the Government pay for their measures?
Windfall-tax fuel / energy companies. No it won’t stifle investment like the companies are claiming, because the current profits are higher than investor expectations so these decisions won’t be impacted.
Windfall-tax the property industry. Gove did well to get big developers to cough up for the cladding crisis. Now how about aiming for the large land agents and investors like Bidwells and Savills who have made housing so unaffordable?
Increase taxes for foreign property investors who are likewise major contributors to the affordability problem
Tax aviation fuel and hike Air Passenger Duty – those who can afford to fly should help support those who can’t.
Sell seized Oligarch assets

One final note on foodbanks. Some say they are demeaning and the Government should increase benefits / tax the rich more. That is economically and socially illiterate. Increasing taxes actually depletes Government coffers, so there’s less money to fund benefits, hospitals and the Police, etc. Very little comes from the rich, but middle-earners end up with less money in their pocket so are less likely to support charitable causes. Community foodbanks respond much more quickly and efficiently when needs arise, compared to the lumbering Government machine, restricted by its size, complexity, bureaucracy and political shenanigans. 

Trust the people to look after their own, which overlaps with what Lee Anderson MP was saying, but his other pronouncements were, in truth, economically and socially illiterate.

Some inconvenient truths

You’ve probably guessed from reading my posts that I’m opinionated. And you probably think that I can’t abide others’ opinions. That second sentence is so untrue it would feel at home in the Guardian. What irritates the hecky-thump out of me are opinions based on lies, damned lies, skewed statistics, inconsistency, hypocrisy and an uncritical adherence to Zen-like group-think.

When I come across stuff like that, I feel compelled to counter with at least an alternative 'fact', whether it completely holds water or not. As long as it’s as defensible as, or more so than, the stance I’m criticising, it’s job done. I’ve come across so much tripe in the past few days that I couldn’t possibly write a blog on each topic; instead, here are some soundbites to get you grinning from ear to ear, or foaming at the mouth:

Better a Nimby than a parasite

In our early married life, Hubby and I used to do our bit for the local Conservative Association, such as shoving leaflets through letter boxes - which was boring - and knocking on doors asking people how they were going to vote in forthcoming elections, answering any questions they might have - which I loved. Me? Enjoy chatting? Well there's a surprise!

Back then, Maggie ruled supreme nationally. I had sold my soul to her in 1979 and she owns it to this day, so we (in truth, me plus Hubby in tow) wanted to do our bit to keep her blue flag flying. The most practical way to do that was to volunteer locally. We soon grew to adore the local party members for themselves. They were down-to-earth, genuine, witty, hard-working, kind-hearted, clever, street-wise and jolly good fun. Very quickly we were rooting for the local candidates as friends rather than as ‘the party’.

Those heady days ended when Maggie was ousted, Major (of less-than-minor ability) took over, and we moved out of the area. I hadn’t shoved a leaflet through a letter box since, until this weekend when I did over 400 for an environmental cause in two Oxfordshire villages as part of the May 2022 local election campaign.

I volunteered to do this to ‘do my bit’ but, given the unpleasant drive over to the area two days running and the fact I didn’t know the villages at all, it really was all about duty and nothing about enjoyment. Or so I had anticipated.

Were the residents in their gardens, I’d ask first before making my way to their letter boxes. Mostly they just said yes go ahead, or take the leaflet from me to save me a few steps, but several actually asked what the leaflet was about. This led to quite lengthy conversations that I loved. I found the locals to be knowledgeable, insightful, sensitive, passionate about their village and the environment, and frustrated if not angry. 

That makes them Nimbys, according to the pro-development lobby. Well, better a Nimby than a parasite.

One lady told me that her family farm had been ‘taken’ for a large development. An unexpected choice of word. It had me imagining Liam Neeson exacting sweet revenge against the developers on behalf of the dispossessed. Amen to that.

When not talking, I was observing, specifically what had changed since my earlier days of leaflet-dropping. One new feature was the plethora of solar panels on roofs; another was electric charging points for vehicles. All well and good for the environment except, more often than not, the front and side gardens had been paved over to accommodate more vehicles and / or to reduce the gardening chore. Less green means less biodiversity and fewer carbon sinks. I could also see lots of aesthetic and security lights, CCTV and ‘Ring’ doorbell cameras, all requiring oodles of electricity, all countering the solar panels and charging points. 

I bet they bloody well fly on holiday as well, I grumbled to myself, having forgotten to bring a homemade flapjack to keep my blood sugar at a civilising level.

The other thing I noticed was the number of traders’ vans on driveways and roadways in what I would have said were middle-class housing estates. When we were first wed, such vans were commonplace around the smaller, ‘cheaper’ homes, but not in, forgive me, these more traditional Tory areas. I was delighted. Social mobility rules ok in Blighty, whatever the claims of the lefty doom-mongers, who can’t see the evidence for their discredited rhetoric.

The final thing of note was the lack of political party posters, banners and boards in windows, on fences and on farmland. Not one. For any party. When we were first wed, I remember noting which of my neighbours supported which party, marking their card as appropriate. The Lib Dems used to plaster the ward with their posters from day one of the election campaign. We Tories used to keep our powder dry until the weekend before polling day then put them up all at once, en masse, intending to panic the Lib Dems into last minute angst, if not mistakes. No idea if it worked or not but it felt good thinking about it!

Not to see any such support for any candidate anywhere in two villages this close to polling day signifies disengagement and disenfranchisement. And is it any wonder? One of the villages I leafleted is threatened with being swamped by a ubiquitous, large, low quality, characterless, cramped, soulless housing estate, with more farms and greenbelt being ‘taken’ to line the pockets of developers, planning consultants, property lawyers and stooges. All objectors are dismissed as Nimbys, which proves my oft-spouted mantra: Those who can, engage. Those who can’t, insult.

The other village is clinging desperately to an illusion of ‘ruralism’. Within spitting distance of a major ‘A’ road, motorway and service station, the persistent background drone of traffic is a constant, brain-burrowing reminder of a fate that awaits many rural communities – noise, concrete, urbanisation, lining the pockets (again) of the bullying few at the expense of the disenfranchised many.

When we were first wed, the percentage turnout for local elections (those not being held at the same time as general elections) was on average in the low 40s. Latterly, it’s more like the low 30s. Given population increases, the absolute loss of voter participation is even more stark.

A meaningful demographic analysis of these outline stats can’t be done in a short blog (trust me – I’ve just read a long blog on the topic), but I’m going to stick my neck out and say voter apathy is worst amongst the young, with older voters more likely (but less than in previous years) to bother to vote. In one respect this isn’t surprising – older people have always been more likely to vote, even though they will have experienced far more broken promises than the young; very few politicians intend to or are able to honour their campaign hype. 

There are some exceptions. 

I recently found a local election pamphlet from 1965, in which the ward-incumbent – my Dad – wrote, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am standing for re-election because I feel confident I can help you as individuals … At your personal request, I have dealt with many of your problems, involving housing, lighting, drainage, public facilities, pets, etc … Some of these problems I have been able to solve, some are still pending, with some I have failed. At all times, however, I have done my best … [A large majority of the other party] has led to an unhealthy domination … it is no real consolation … that [I] can therefore disclaim responsibility for the rates and rents!”

I like this approach – it sounds genuine, honest, personal, pragmatic, with a hint of humour. No spin, posturing, insults, fake news, condescension, arrogance, party line. It’s just him and I’d vote for him even if he weren’t my Dad.

In contrast, I remember the claptrap Hubby and I used to deliver about twenty years later – slick, sour and superficial – even if they were our friends. Their literature, you see, was controlled by the constituency office. 

As for 2022 election literature, most of the leaflets I’ve seen (thank you, Google), regardless of party or location, promise to limit council tax rises, help residents with the cost-of-living crisis, cut through bureaucracy, protect the environment, improve public transport, broadband, waste collection, speeding traffic, rat-running, flooding, do everything better / different, blame everything on the other parties …

With everyone promising more or less the same (unattainable) goals, there is absolutely nothing to choose between any candidate or any party. If any of these goals are possible at all, they are impossible for individual councillors to take credit for them. In reality, all policies and decision-making are stymied by the law, big business, funding constraints and the capability (or lack of) and agendas of council officers.

Which, to be honest, is exactly the same as when we were first wed ☹

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