Monty Python strikes again

I’ve just read about the scandal at the Shrewsbury and Telford Hospital NHS Trust, where over 200 babies and nine mothers died and others were left with appalling injuries and mental trauma. These statistics undoubtedly understate the true picture nationwide.

I’m not the first person to comment that these mummies, bairns and their families were victims of a Modern Midwifery Mantra that ‘natural childbirth is best’ i.e. you go against Mother Nature at your peril. However, it’s more than a mantra; it’s an obsession – an obsession with an unproven theory, a fad. Worse. It’s a moral crusade to teach the world that health professionals and their cronies know best, and the rest of us are ignorant if not morally bereft. They unquestionably believe that experiencing natural childbirth in all its glories (and goriness?) is best for bonding. Mums and dads don’t know that because they haven’t been on the courses, read the books, aren’t immersed in ‘the culture’ so they won’t understand. Never fear. Midwives are here to rescue the uninitiated. Show them the light. Hand them the Holy Grail.

Reparations, Republics and Realpolitik

I used to enjoy Royal tours. They were joyous, relaxing (for observers) spectacles. A chance for the UK to shine vicariously through the smiles, deference, handshakes, hats, bouquets and frock-changes of Her Maj or any one of our numerous HRHs. Behind the scenes, investments were discussed, deals were struck, and everyone parted the best of friends, a little bit richer in ways other than money.

But this Caribbean trip is irritating the hell out of me. If it’s not Kate’s garish gowns shoe-horned around her too-skinny frame (eat some carbs, Girl, and strap on a pair of kilos), it’s her jaw-aching, wrinkle-inducing grin-à-la-Joker, or Will’s self-flagellating hand-wringing over our colonial past, serving sycophancy to the historically ignorant and ammo to the opportunistic who no longer want his Granny (or his Dad or him) as Head of State. More than anything, they want ‘reparations’.

It'll all end in tears.

Oh, what a lovely war!

Some might think it’s ‘sick’ to be light-hearted at the expense of the war in Ukraine. However, if the Ukrainian army can play “Don’t worry, be happy” in front of military barricades to keep their spirits up, then I can engage my weird and not universally loved sense of humour as a morale (if not a moral) booster.

Traumatic as it is, the war in Ukraine appeared to have united Europe, and united Britain and Europe, apart from a few wobbles early on when the Germans seemed to care more about their gas supplies than the lives of innocents, this united front was going swimmingly. We all managed to put aside our differences so that the EU could do its thing and the UK could do its thing independently and free from EU shackles, thanks to Defence Secretary Ben Wallace. He has outshone Foreign Secretary Liz Truss just as Michael Gove outshone Home Secretary Priti Patel. Not the finest hour for the ladies, is it. (I can say that; the men can’t.)

The Clown Prince and the Lord

I’m sure Hollywood will make a film about this; it’s full of intrigue, red herrings, outlandish personalities and a dead dog. They can even nick my title if they want, reminiscent of the Olivier/Monroe classic The Prince and the Showgirl.

The storyline is about BoJo forcing through a Lordship for one of his Russian oligarch chums in 2020. It’s topical on many fronts – BoJo bashing, oligarch bashing, unelected-upper-house bashing. I sense I’m supposed to find BoJo guilty on all counts – cronyism, security-breaching, hypocrisy, elitism, another party-gate (he enjoyed Olly-Oligarch’s hospitality) – but as evidenced in my previous blogs, while I can admit to BoJo’s failings, I can’t help but forgive him because the lovable rogue got Brexit done.

Don't forget about Zimbabwe

Here’s a mind game for you – what do net zero, Ukraine and Zimbabwe have in common? We’ll need a couple of other mind games to figure that one out.

Despite throwing my ha’penny-worth behind the net-zero aspirations of politicians, businesses and fellow environmental campaigners, I’ve persistently counselled against prioritising net zero as the be-all and end-all of policy making. Indeed, on occasions I appear to argue against net zero, the proposed Whitehaven coal mine being a case in point (mentioned in not one but two previous blogs, so I won’t bang on about it again here).

I argue thus, because carbon-induced climate change is just one existential threat facing humanity – sorry, the planet. There’s also dwindling biodiversity, toxic pollution, nuclear warfare, biological warfare, any warfare, pandemics, food insecurity, energy insecurity, antibiotic dependency ...