This post is my raunchiest yet (for me, that’s not difficult) and written for the Girlies. So, Gents, if talk of fashion, make-up, bitching and sex is a real turn-off for you, look away now.
When SATC first hit our screens, I sniffily avoided it. I’d read the hype and decided it was nothing but cheap porn. What persuaded me to get off my prudish high horse and give it a try was the realisation that one of its pivotal characters was Carrie Bradshaw’s love-interest (one of her many, that is) Big, played by Chris Noth.
Be still my beating heart.
I’ve had the hots for Mr Noth since I first saw him in Law & Order when we lived in the States. I would organise my day to have my lunch at home so I could watch the 1pm show. If I missed it I’d tune in for the 7pm repeat. Sad I know but Phwoar! I don’t believe the recent accusations of him sexually assaulting women. He’s so gorgeous he can have anyone he wants.
Regardless of Mr Noth, I can’t resist a good on-again-off-again or will-they-won’t-they / get-a-room plot. SATC plus the likes of Cheers, Just Good Friends and Ashes to Ashes would have bombed without these frustrating romances, even though in A2A there’s no way on this planet Gene Hunt would have fallen for Alex Drake (the over-rated Keeley Hawes). In fact, I switched off more often than not because of her. They never made it into the bedroom, thank goodness. Can you imagine her bossing him around with a do this not that not yet and afterwards evaluating his efforts? In writing I expect.
Back to SATC: I doubt I’ll bother with the new series now that I know that Big had a heart attack while riding his Peloton. The writers missed a trick there – they should have had him suffer a heart attack while in the sack, and not with Carrie. Now that plot would have been worth him being written out!
The other reason why I won’t bother tuning in is that something has gone seriously wrong with Carrie’s styling. She was never the prettiest of the four ladies, but her hair and make-up were very forgiving to the point of enticing, and her clothes! OMG!! What I wouldn’t have given to wear even one of her outfits. The cut. The detail. The colours. I think I have the hots for her wardrobe more than I ever did for Big.
While her fashions, from what I’ve seen from the trailers, are still saliva-inducing, what HAS she done to her hair? It should be shorter, fuller, curlier to frame, soften and lift her face, not flatten and drag it down. Thus speaks an expert – me – who also has trouble finding, executing and repeating a flattering style.
Her make up has likewise gone to pot. There’s a lot to be said for the ‘natural’ look, but not when it’s so natural that she looks no better than if she wasn’t wearing any. Just before I went into hospital to have my shoulder bionic-ed, I had my hair done, plus my brows and lashes tinted, and I exfoliated, masked, pore-stripped and moisturised for several days so that I wouldn’t have to bother with much if any make-up either in hospital or for the first week or so at home. I’m sure I got an extra fistful of opiates because I caught the male nurse’s eye.
Maybe I’ll relent and give the Samantha-Jones-less show a try. Or maybe I won’t, because what made me initially forgive the obvious porn (apart from Big, of course) was the dialogue and humour that somehow, cleverly, made it all acceptable. That might be hard to emulate without Ms Jones; she was the raunchiest, sluttiest and most pornographic of the lot of them, but she was so pretty and witty and had the best one-liners.
One of my favourites was when the four ladies were walking down a street. Samantha spots sailors straight ahead and says, “Ladies, seamen, 12 o'clock!”
My other faves are not sexy per se, but they sure strike a chord (I nearly said hit the spot but that might have been rude) which is probably why I forgive her porn scenes. Here are a few (one-liners, not porn scenes. Sorry):
“I will not be judged by you or society.”
“A guy gets angry in a meeting, he’s a pistol. A woman, she’s emotional.”
“I am fifty-fucking-two and I will rock this dress.”
Amen to all that!
Because Samantha was much sluttier than the others, their misdemeanours didn’t seem so bad by comparison. Without Samantha, her sluttiness and her humour, everyone will just seem porno.
And just like that, I’m back on my prudish high horse.
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