Four Yorkshiremen of the Apocalypse

Who doesn’t love a good Monty Python sketch? And those pre-Python sketches can be even better. In case you haven’t guessed by now, I’m referring to the "Four Yorkshiremen" classic from the 1967 TV show At Last the 1948 Show, starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Marty Feldman. Click here to laugh at four monied Yorkshiremen reminiscing about their childhoods, each trying to ‘out-destitute’ the other and getting increasingly ridiculous.

I was reminded of this sketch the other evening while sharing a (one? surely not) bottle of red with my like-minded neighbour, whom I shall call N to spare her blushes. We were sitting in my garden, despairing at my dead lawn, dead shrubs, dead pots and how quickly the wine was evaporating. To wind me up, N said the forthcoming hosepipe bans were all the fault of the water companies (remind yourself of this blog to see why I think the water companies are given an unfair wrap these days). I countered with a story on the news this week about a chap who was complaining about the brown colour of his water that his local supplier was blaming on “unprecedented demand”, but that the water was still ok to drink. The chap carried on complaining, saying he first noticed the discolouration after filling the kids’ paddling pool.

I’ll just leave that hanging.

We moved on to the energy crisis and the rocketing cost of gas, electric, and oil, and the all-round increase in bills and pressure on households to make ends meet. Without wishing to belittle the very real problem for some households, we were less accommodating (aka downright bitchy) about those who expected to maintain if not better their living standards ad infinitum, and that the Government should ‘do something’ because it was unfair for them to tighten their belts when others could afford not to.

We commented on the numbers eating out and going away on holiday, the number of Amazon vans delivering non-essentials, the plethora of cars on the road, competing for space with an increasing number of expensive bikes, and the demand for bottomless supplies of everything, including pay rises. 

We compared this attitude to when we were kids, when there was just one coal fire and no central heating, so we snuggled under blankets to watch TV, and not everyone had a TV back then. Phone calls were strictly rationed. Not every family had a car, and even then there was only one. Leftovers were eked out as much as possible – to this day there is nothing I can’t do with a chicken carcass and soggy leeks. My Sis and I had two older girl cousins. The elder handed her clothes down to her sister, who handed them down to my Sis, and by the time I got them, hemlines had moved up and down several times and the fabric dye had been outlawed as being toxic many moons ago. And when we decorated our homes, we decorated them for life, not just for Christmas.

I know I’m going to get it in the neck for describing my upbringing as being less than affluent. For some on the left, those who can now afford to eat duck and asparagus rather than chicken and leeks have no right to harp back to more frugal days as it’s somehow disrespectful to those living frugally today. 

Oh go boil your head, and then I’ll put it in a pie with leftover tripe and onions.