Went to church with Mum today. Pity. Lovely Indian summer day. Could have spent it in the garden or walking across the fields. But I had promised her on Thursday that I’d take her and, like a good Christian, except I’m an atheist, I keep my promises. Unless it’s a really huge inconvenience, then tough.
The theme of today’s service was ‘forgiveness’, and how even if the perpetrator doesn’t apologise / repent / make amends or wotnot, a Christian should still forgive them unconditionally, or God won’t forgive the Christian their own transgressions when the time comes.
Even though I’m an atheist, I like to think I try to live as
a Christian should, apart from the worship bit. Ten Commandments? Check (more than
half of them anyway). Kind to animals? Check (apart from ants, spiders, mosquitos,
wasps and Michel Barnier). Give to good causes? Check. Self-sacrifice? Oh yeah.
Forgiveness? Ummmm … sorry, that’s the deal-breaker.
Most times I can forgive someone I believe has wronged me. At the very least, I pretend like nothing ever happened and carry on regardless. But I can think of two people when, nah. Persona non grata. Both of them. Absolute. Complete. No Exception. Why? Because they stabbed me in the back. One of them, repeatedly. The other, just the once and I didn’t personally suffer. However, others did. And it’s on their behalf I can’t forgive the person who caused the suffering. In both cases, I turned my back on the perps and walked away and live my life without acknowledging their existence (apart from in this Blog, but that’s what Blogs are for).
I’m not the lowest of the low as far as the lack-of-forgiveness thing is concerned. I don’t seek revenge or wish them harm. They are just inconsequential and not worthy of being named or engaged with. I would say I don’t think about them, but occasionally during the natural progression of a relaxed conversation with a very good friend of mine, their continued presence on this earth crops up. My friend refers to one of them as F - - k Face, and the dysphemism she uses for the other is so rude I really can’t bring myself to even hint at it in polite company. Needless to say, we both end up cackling like witches and pour ourselves another glass of whatever that evening’s tipple might be.
If they were to apologise and admit they were wrong then I would forgive them. But the vicar today was very clear – you must forgive someone even if they don’t apologise. After all, on the Cross, Jesus said, “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.”
Ah ha! That’s my get-out-of-jail-free card. Those two knew exactly what they were doing and why. They acted out of self-interest, cowardice, arrogance, selfishness, sheer horribleness, and expected me to smile sweetly and continue to take tea with them. And if I had, I believe that they would have continued to wrong even more people, being either unaware of their despicable behaviour or being of the opinion that they can keep getting away with it. So, not forgiving them and shunning them completely might prompt them to reflect on and moderate their behaviour. Either way they’re going to Hell in a hand cart.
Job well done.
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